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9 Ways To Immediately Fail At Being Professional On The internet

Feb 1st, 2018

Ah, the internet. The playground for professionals, right?
Because everybody is an expert or a marketer or an influencer or God-know-what-else.
And while I am by no means perfect, after over 20 years in the business, I know a thing or two about the business.

  1. Sending emails pitching your professional services, outlining your decades of experience, etc from a free email domain like hotmail.com, gmail.com, outlook.com, yahoo.com or similar.
    SOLUTION: Get a friggin’ domain name and work on your CI
  2. Using bad grammar in your email.
    SOLUTION: Proofread before you hit send. Always.
  3. Starting out your email with “Greetings”, “Friend”, “Greetings, Friend”, or similar
    SOLUTION: Cryo-Prison. For you and the Nigerian Prince.
    Mellow Greetings
    Source: yarn
  4. Sending bulk (spam) emails with template field errors
    From: %{name}% <%{name}%@xxxxxxxxxxxx.top>
    Reply-to: %{name}% <%{name}%@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.top>
    SOLUTION: At least test your spam system before sending spam
  5. Showing “powered by WordPress”, “created with GoDaddy Website Builder”, etc on your oh-so-professional website.
    It takes a real professional about 0.5 seconds to find out what platform or framework you’re using.
    SOLUTION: Go and pay for real web development
  6. Using bad grammar on your (oh-so-professional) website.
    SOLUTION: Proofread before you publish stuff.
  7. Using “Lorem Ipsum” (or other placeholder) text on your (oh-so-professional) website.
    SOLUTION: Lots of proofreading and testing before ever hitting publish.
  8. Using stock images. The same ones everybody else is using.
    SOLUTION: Hire a photographer and/or graphic designer to create unique imagery and visuals.
  9. Having absolutely zero Contact Information on your website. No address, no phone number, nothing.
    SOLUTION: Establish a real and verifiable business presence outside of your parents’ basement.

Did I miss anything in particular? What’s you biggest pet peeve of so-called professionals?
Let us know in the comments!