9 Ways To Immediately Fail At Being Professional On The internet

Feb 1st, 2018

Ah, the internet. The playground for professionals, right?
Because everybody is an expert or a marketer or an influencer or God-know-what-else.
And while I am by no means perfect, after over 20 years in the business, I know a thing or two about the business.

  1. Sending emails pitching your professional services, outlining your decades of experience, etc from a free email domain like hotmail.com, gmail.com, outlook.com, yahoo.com or similar.
    SOLUTION: Get a friggin’ domain name and work on your CI
  2. Using bad grammar in your email.
    SOLUTION: Proofread before you hit send. Always.
  3. Starting out your email with “Greetings”, “Friend”, “Greetings, Friend”, or similar
    SOLUTION: Cryo-Prison. For you and the Nigerian Prince.
    Mellow Greetings
    Source: yarn
  4. Sending bulk (spam) emails with template field errors
    From: %{name}% <%{name}%@xxxxxxxxxxxx.top>
    Reply-to: %{name}% <%{name}%@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.top>
    SOLUTION: At least test your spam system before sending spam
  5. Showing “powered by WordPress”, “created with GoDaddy Website Builder”, etc on your oh-so-professional website.
    It takes a real professional about 0.5 seconds to find out what platform or framework you’re using.
    SOLUTION: Go and pay for real web development
  6. Using bad grammar on your (oh-so-professional) website.
    SOLUTION: Proofread before you publish stuff.
  7. Using “Lorem Ipsum” (or other placeholder) text on your (oh-so-professional) website.
    SOLUTION: Lots of proofreading and testing before ever hitting publish.
  8. Using stock images. The same ones everybody else is using.
    SOLUTION: Hire a photographer and/or graphic designer to create unique imagery and visuals.
  9. Having absolutely zero Contact Information on your website. No address, no phone number, nothing.
    SOLUTION: Establish a real and verifiable business presence outside of your parents’ basement.

Did I miss anything in particular? What’s you biggest pet peeve of so-called professionals?
Let us know in the comments!

About the author:

Nina Khoury is a computer scientist, software engineer, data and information junkie and online marketer. She taught at various universities for more than six years and worked on projects for Fortune 500 companies including cisco, Intel and HP.

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